All the Islamic greetings etcetera.
Recently it has come to our notice that Pakistan dushman (enemy) Jews-CIA-RAW has started 4.5123 G warfare against us. They have started calling all our anal-ysis as conspiracy theories and making fun of us. But don’t you get disheartened my Mard-e-Mommies (mommy’s sons), we are here to take the fight back to them on the cyber-electronic-mechanical-brain-fart media.
We will answer to their fantasies point by point to shut them up.
1. They said we made up the name of Amar Singh (also known as Ajmal Kasab by hindu baniya).
My point is, if he is not Amar (immortal) then why is he still alive (hi hi…. ya yousuf, I am jealous of my own brain). In any other country he would be long dead by now. Only an Amar can be still alive after killing hundreds of people.
2. They said we day dreamed about Pakistani reaching on Chand (moon) in five years.
Well, they don’t see the Allah ka khufia raaj hidden under my laal topee. The rate at which my holy hair is falling, in few years there will be complete Chand on Pakistani. If you still prefer Pakistani on Chand (ah the semantics) then you will see that when we get down on Bada-Mard-e-Mombatti i.e. Hamid Gul, he will be a Pakistani on chand 😉 . We already have our own test chimpanzee that we are testing our rockets on. That Shaheed-e-Baal is Hazrat Ali Azmat. We will always remember his services to us … sigh.
3. They said we advocate the financial transactions in gold but yet we accept credit cards for selling our merchandise.
What the yahoodi funded media will not tell you that we only accept Gold Credit Cards, any other type of credit card is not accepted by this fu*keer. (by god we are awesome ). See we do what we preach. Take that Fasi Zaka.
4. They said we bluffed about roohs/ghosts/zombies fighting the 1965 war against India.
Well my children let me tell you it is all true. As we all know that half of our brave fauj (army) got shot in the ass and rest of the fauj ran away from the battlefield of 1965. But we still won the 65 battle didn’t we? After all our textbooks tell us that. It can only be possible if the rooh’s of dead fauji’s fought with the hindu army. We are still watching Hollywood horror movies to work on our zombie theory, but the rooh theory is proved true by us beyond any doubt.
5. They said our wives left us because our kataari was not big enough.
Well nothing can be far from the truth than this. General Hamid Gul has told me it is the biggest Pakistani kataari he has ever laid his hands on. Who are you going to believe, yahoodi agents or our beloved Hamid Gul?
6.They said we never took part in Afghan Gayhad aka Jihad.
We have taken part in long and hard jihad with many many stud Afghans, fighters from all over the world and we even served the Russians as a spy. If they don’t believe in it then they can look at our tashreef (back side) after the jihad. It is so huge now because it has been hard and long served.
7. They said we falsely claimed that Dr. Afia Siddiqui was working on a top secret project in America.
We don’t know yet what project she was working on don’t we? And the Americans are still denying it. That proves that she was working on a very top secret project. Her sister was lying to save her from evil Americans.
8. They said we falsely called SAFMA ( Najam Sethi, Hasan Nisar, Marvi Sirmed etc etc) people as RAW agents.
Ha ha.. We really got them here. We have been eaten RAW by them on live TV so many times (here and here) that it only proves that they are RAW agents. Marvi Sirmed even has hinduon wali shakal. Hi hi hi… take that Nusrat Javed.
They make fun of our Facebook army of sheeples. They claim that we cannot ever win a war against India with them. But let us tell you a raajo ka raaj, once we have reached 1 Gazillion-patallion members we all will simultaneously send poke to India. That giant poke-quake (ala boob quake) will surely bring those hindus down on their knees and that’s when we will take over Delhi.
We are upgrading our system with more laxatives and beans so we can advance to 5.01 G warfare ahead of them. Meanwhile if you want clarification on more yahoodi propaganda against us then feel free to ask me.
And inshaallah, we will win some day and our tashreef will have a hindu stamp as well.
Calipha Sir Zaid Zaman Hamid Sahab