Why America is meddling in Balochistan- A Zaid Hamid exclusive

Dear Children, Let us update you on Baluchistan. Read this carefully and slowly (because many of you cannot read English at normal speed).

Do NOT panic, even if you are feeling pressure, not the zioinst pressure but the other one. InshAllah, Baluchistan is not going anywhere. On the other hand we, the Pakistanis are going to moon. We will go to moon and throw peanuts at paleet hindus. The enemies and the traitors within cannot break away Baluchistan. They don’t need to, we ourselves are capable of doing it. Do not doubt the capability of this fu*keer who gives azaan everywhere. There is a deliberate information war by the likes of SAFMA to create the hype to give this perception that Pakistan is breaking up but we have to counter this argument by spreading false propaganda, in which we excel. Stay firm and stay united (if you are sitting in front of your computer, stand up, and do tauba). There is no power (other than Pakistan itself) on earth which can undo Pakistan, InshAllah.

Baluchistan is 42 % of Pakistan territory (and we will occupy it completely). Its population is only 4% of Pakistan (our brave Pak Army got rid of most of them), about 8 million. Out of this, nearly 5 million are Pashtuns, Brahwis, Makranis, Punjabis and Sindhi Pakistani Muslims who have no problem at all (several times we asked them but they did not complain us of any problem but just looked at the barrel of gun in their mouth). Within the Baluch Muslims (we do not care about Hindus) Pakistanis, 90% are with Pakistan alhamdolillah (Taking Allah’s name is very important otherwise people start calling us Yusuf Kazab’s follower). The separatists are just a few thousand misguided men from only 4 districts out of 28 districts of the province (and still kicking our back like anything).

There is no government in Pakistan today, even in Islamabad and the country is in a state of war being invaded by enemies from Facebook. We are telling the Chief of Army staff to take over the country and make us the caretaker but he is saying that we should have atleast 100,000 Facebook followers who can defend this khufia raaz from Hindus, Israelis, Americans, British, Italians, Veena Malik and Sania Mirza.

Zaid: Promise to make me caretaker of the Government

If Pakistan army does not stop the TTP and the BLA terrorists from creating more facebook pages how could we be the next caretaker? Tell Tell. In reality, FC and Pak army are defending Pakistan against Indian backed insurgencies in Golf courses where even the CIA is playing.

Americans want to take over Gawader and grow mangoes there. But Mango is muslim fruit. Our ancestors discovered this fruit in Arab and brought it to Hindustan where challak hindu baniya stole the guthalee and grew mangoes. The recent resolution in US congress has encouraged the mango farming.It is a zionist conspiracy to steal the mango technology from Muslim Ummah. Never InshAllah! As long as Pakistan can block the NATO supplies carrying mango guthalees, US do not have the resources to make a mango garden at Gawader. If we release the supplies, then the Americans can make such a plan but even then, there will be fighting but Mangoes can never be separated from Pakistan, InshAllah.

The situation in Baluchistan is NOT like of East Pakistan. East Pakistan broke-up because we did not give our crazy azaan and daily last and final warnings. The few thousand insurgents can blow up our ass but they can never break Pakistan which is under the shadow of Red Cap.

The only way to end the suffering of the people is to bring the us as the caretaker of the Madia-e-Nani,. And then you we will broadcast our crazy azaans daily on Radio Pakistan and will give last and final warnings to everyone who cares or even dont care. The solution is come under the shadow of Red Cap and not to ask a question to this fu*keer.

We invite all Baluch youth to join us on our facebook page.

Now you smell our smelly fart. Spread it far and wide and do not fall ill. InshAllah khair. This Pakistan is here to stay but Pakistanis will go to moon, alhamdolillah.

Your Calipha,

Chacha Zaid Hamid



  1. LOL, “Mango is muslim fruit. Our ancestors discovered this fruit in Arab and brought it to Hindustan where challak hindu baniya stole the guthalee and grew mangoes”.

    1. Do not laugh.. just follow… keep your IQ below 47.. and you will be a mujahid in Ghazwa-e-Hind

      1. your are brilliant

  2. Very funny stuff.. Good job! 🙂

  3. chintan gala · · Reply

    hahahaha…………..this dog is called a ‘defence analayst’ in pakistan

  4. chintan gala · · Reply


  5. Chacha G Whats REALY MEANS of “keep your IQ below 47..” whats philosophy inside it?

    1. People who have considerable IQ took this fuckeer as Ch*tia and termed these powerful azaans as conspiracy theory. Red cap prevents from such effects.

  6. And sir! (in my opinion) this time is not for gazwa e hind. B.coz there is almost half Billion Muslims in india who also loves there own motherland. . . And remember there are alot of muttaqi muslims. Gazwa e hind ka jab time ay ga tb koi muslim pechy nahi rahy ga na hi apko awazen dy k elan kr k kisi ko bulana pary ga. . . Jb wo time ay ga tb may be “hindustan ka map different ho or wahan muslims na hon. . .” Its all about possibilities.. So plz nafrat ki agg ko km karen. . . Hum pehly e kafi JHULAS chuky hen es agg men.
    Main hamesha kehta hun k APNA DIFAA (Defence) KARO OR DOSRY KO BURA NA KAHO (Chahy wo koi countary ho ya insan)
    Ya Allah humen seedha rasta dikha

  7. R u zaid hamid Himself?
    Y u r abousing like dis?

    1. did you read the article?



  8. Yup i read it. . But issue is no doubt india is our enmy so we should care our countary if we have power (which we have not. Enrgy or gas tu pora nai ho rha hum se) agr humary pas wakai taqat hy tu humen mumbai or delhi ka wo hal kr dena chahye jo india Blochstan ka kr rha hy. Par hum es qabil nahe k india ki trf ankh b utha k dekh saken(due to our corrupt politicians)
    Humen pehly khud ko thek karna hoga. Phr hi hum jihad or qital ki bat kr sakten mujahid kabhi corrupt nahe hota or hm men se 98% corrupt hen. Humen pehly sahaba R.A wali serat apnani ho g phr automaticly sahaba R.A wala hosla b ajay ga or phr hi hum sahi muslims ban saken gy. Or phr Esaa ibn e maryam ayn gy tb hoga gazwa e hind. . . Not know
    Abi humen apna defence mazbot krna hy jo k as u know na hony k barabr hy. Thanks agr meri thinking men koi glti hy tu Rab e tala se mafi mangta hun or islah ki dua krta hun.

  9. LO*A tera funny…
    I am a**hole, do I even know who a MUJAHID is?
    I motherfuckre, son of a B*TCH!!!

  10. gandu hamid · · Reply

    Chutiye tera iq kitna hai…
    check kr phir kuch likhne ki soch…

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