Autobiography of Zaid Hamid: Part1 of From Indus to Oxus [PDF Download]

Dear Children,

In this post we will tell you a rohaani story and will take you to a romantic (girls hold your heart :P) journey. We will tell you our story. How we began and how we start dreaming about capturing India. It is a powerful azaan children so open your (ears).

Afghanistan Diary:

In 1979 when Afghanistan was invaded by the infidel Russians our blood started to boil. It boiled so much that the white cap on our head turned red because of our anger. We always wanted to join Pak Army so that we can defend the Madina-e-Sani but we were rejected because our height was just 5.5 feet. But it did not discourage us from participating in war. Afghanistan was a good chance for us to contribute to Islam.

We signed up for Afghanistan Jihad but again they were reluctant because of our height.  But they needed mujahidins anyways and hence we were also selected to serve Islam. We were the head of 3 other chaiwallas and used to serve tea to the jihadis everyday. Children, serving Islam in any form is a blessing, we were not serving tea but serving Islam. The jihadis lovingly called us Zaidu Chaiwalla we loved this token of appreciation from the soldiers of Islam. Some Pashtun Jihadis used to take us on their camps at night also (don’t ask us for what). So you see children that we have provided full body effort in the Jihad. Take a look at a beautiful pic of us and our other tea-server members:

Days with our Prophet: Yousuf Kazab

When we came back from our Afghanistan trip we were high on emotions. We have served (tea) to Islam. Now it was time to do something big. We always dreamed of being a personality which is followed by millions. And after our Afghanistan trip we knew how to fool people.

And this time we found a man who claimed to be the last Prophet of Islam. We got an opportunity to fulfill our dream and thus we gave our full support to Prophet Yousuf Kazab and we became the first Calipha (Prophet doesn’t rule but the Calipha..he he). We gave him full support, organized seminars for him, collected fund (and put it in our pocket..see we are smart).

But some people were jealous of our success and they imprisoned Yousuf Kazab and hanged our beloved Prophet on the charges of blasphemy. Now we were a Calipha trying to save our ass.

We will continue the story in the second part. Keep waiting. Keep doing tauba. Great khair is coming and if not, we are coming for sure. Stay tuned for some more conspiracy theories.

Yours,

Zaidu Chaiwalla

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