Autobiography of Zaid Hamid: Part1 of From Indus to Oxus [PDF Download]

Dear Children,

In this post we will tell you a rohaani story and will take you to a romantic (girls hold your heart :P) journey. We will tell you our story. How we began and how we start dreaming about capturing India. It is a powerful azaan children so open your (ears).

Afghanistan Diary:

In 1979 when Afghanistan was invaded by the infidel Russians our blood started to boil. It boiled so much that the white cap on our head turned red because of our anger. We always wanted to join Pak Army so that we can defend the Madina-e-Sani but we were rejected because our height was just 5.5 feet. But it did not discourage us from participating in war. Afghanistan was a good chance for us to contribute to Islam.

We signed up for Afghanistan Jihad but again they were reluctant because of our height.  But they needed mujahidins anyways and hence we were also selected to serve Islam. We were the head of 3 other chaiwallas and used to serve tea to the jihadis everyday. Children, serving Islam in any form is a blessing, we were not serving tea but serving Islam. The jihadis lovingly called us Zaidu Chaiwalla we loved this token of appreciation from the soldiers of Islam. Some Pashtun Jihadis used to take us on their camps at night also (don’t ask us for what). So you see children that we have provided full body effort in the Jihad. Take a look at a beautiful pic of us and our other tea-server members:

Days with our Prophet: Yousuf Kazab

When we came back from our Afghanistan trip we were high on emotions. We have served (tea) to Islam. Now it was time to do something big. We always dreamed of being a personality which is followed by millions. And after our Afghanistan trip we knew how to fool people.

And this time we found a man who claimed to be the last Prophet of Islam. We got an opportunity to fulfill our dream and thus we gave our full support to Prophet Yousuf Kazab and we became the first Calipha (Prophet doesn’t rule but the Calipha..he he). We gave him full support, organized seminars for him, collected fund (and put it in our pocket..see we are smart).

But some people were jealous of our success and they imprisoned Yousuf Kazab and hanged our beloved Prophet on the charges of blasphemy. Now we were a Calipha trying to save our ass.

We will continue the story in the second part. Keep waiting. Keep doing tauba. Great khair is coming and if not, we are coming for sure. Stay tuned for some more conspiracy theories.

Yours,

Zaidu Chaiwalla

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22 comments

  1. FromCham · · Reply

    Hilarious…..staying tuned ;)

  2. LOLZZZZ…YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME… HILARIOUS!!

    1. I am working alone on Zaiddu. You are welcome to join. :)

      1. We are also thinking of joining you and actually thinking about the amount in gold ashrafi’s :)

      2. Alahmdullah…
        Zaidu khush hua mujahid ka zazba dekh ke…
        Aao mere Iqbal ke shaheen.. hum tumhe Panipat ka vazeer banayengey…

  3. As soon as the russian General (kamazov Kalashnikov) who was in charge of Kandahar those days heard that Zaidu has joined the MuzzieeHedenns …and started doing Jihad stuff…he pissed in the pants and ran away from kndahar…

    Thats the basic history behind Fall of Kandahar story

  4. […] remember last month we launched our much awaited sexual extravaganza in Afghanistan which we priced at 2500 Pakistan Rupee. We wanted to put the price in gold asharfies […]

  5. Yakin maniye Khalid…us din hum 4 log gaye thay …safed ghodo par baith kar ,,ek haath mei chai ka glass dusray mei ketli thi…..

    1. Alahmdulla… labaik… you are our sipahsalar…

  6. laltopiwala · · Reply

    Best one……Now we were a Calipha trying to save our ass.

  7. laltopiwala · · Reply

    you shud be on facebook….not my real email address et.c…but love u guys…great job…..stay positive and respectful to islam while kickin his ass…..cz this guy is very smart…he talks on topics that one cant dare to questoin……

    1. My main aim is to make fun of this hate monger… I try not to hurt anyone’s religious sentiments…
      Thanks for liking the post… Stay in touch…with our Facebook page…

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  9. […] Our deadline for sending 100000 donkeys to us is 10th of March. Please plan accordingly. In wars, donkeys are the most critical element, As Ruhaani get together with them simply leads to victory, (Reference: Sex Memoirs INDUS TO OXUS) […]

  10. […] Our deadline for sending 100000 donkeys to us is 10th of March. Please plan accordingly. In wars, donkeys are the most critical element, As Ruhaani get together with them simply leads to victory, (Reference: Sex Memoirs INDUS TO OXUS) […]

  11. […] American hunt of Osama.Now this Red cap will show this whole world that he can not only sell his Sex Book Indus to Oxus he can sell Pappad Variyan, Peanuts, Kachhe, Baniyan whatever! We have farted aloud now spread it […]

  12. […] already know how we met some good looking stud pathans during our Afghanistan Jihad. The Afghans were true mard-e-momins. When we used to serve the great Ummah during the nights, […]

  13. […] GUL before 2007 when he “suddenly” appeared on media with bunch of jokes! Our Sex Book From Indus to Oxus is a solid slap on their face which gives the graphic and photographic detailed account of our […]

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  15. […] We’ve the honour to narrate third part of our great journey from Indus to Oxus! As we mentioned earlier, we were very much happy being chaiwala’s to help Afghan Gayhad. My […]

  16. Hidustan will occupy · · Reply

    how much u buring yourself yaar. Zaid Hamid ki kitni Ghand marogay. hamesha kutay ki tarha bhook rahay ha.

  17. Salute to you guys. I am an Indian (And, I don’t hate Pakistan after reading this stuff from last five hours). This funny guy in Red Cap was my impression towards Pakistan before I landed up here. Though, we too have some mindless A**H**es in India as well but this guy is a champion. Thanks for changing my perception and keep rocking.
    Cheers!!!!

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