Zaid Hamid’s powerful azaan on Bal-ochistan issue

Dear Children,

Let us update you on our Ball I mean hair not Balls because we are Ball-less mujahid. Read this carefully and slowly.

Do NOT panic. InshAllah, I am not getting bald head in near future. There is a deliberate dis-information war by the likes of SAFMA to create the hype to give this perception that I”ll get Ganja in near future cause we always wear our imaginative “RED CAP”. There is no power on earth which can make us Bald head, InshAllah.

Alhamdulillah..! My head is 42 % filled with camel shit which makes us utter nonsense continuously nonstop with out any break. There are about 8 million ticks and mites in our hairs I guarantee you I counted them on my own. Out of them, nearly 5 million came in my head when Pashtuns, Brahwis, Makranis, Punjabis, Sindhi literally beaten up my head with their old broken khussa”s (Punjabi jutti) and chappalls after listening our crazy azans.

Hyberyar Marri, Brahmadagh Bugti and Attaullah Mengal are taking help from US and India to cure their hair loss using Jew made head and shoulders shampoo and paleet Brahmin made Medicare shampoo. We know there are thousands of mites and ticks which are incurable by these products. The system of using hair care shampoo in present is against our two LOTA theory. The only way to end the suffering is to behead these munafiqs using our shining sword.

Now you know the truth. Spread it far and wide and do not fall for the propaganda of the enemies. InshAllah khair.

Your Calipha,

Zaidu Chacha Panipat waley

Zaid Hamid blasts SAFMA and other Zionists traitors

We had told you few days ago that the final battle between who is bigger akkal ya bhains has begun and there will not be any neutrals in this stupid ideological war. From the attacking Pakistan in 4th generation war and destroying the crazy ideology of Pakistan, the enemies are active on all fronts with full force.

SAFMA (which means, Suckeena Always Fu*ked my ass) is the information and propaganda arm of Hindu Zionists which dilute and destroy pudina-e-sani’s sacred two LOTA theory which states Bhains and Mard-e-Momin can only take bath using two LOTA’s of water. SAFMA are ideological terrorists as they completely deny this theory !

Imtiaz Alam…mere balam… May God’s curse be upon you. You have sold our sacred LOTA for some zionist dollars to paleet Indians. By Allah,Since then we never had taken any bath even if we stink like dead snake. No matter how bad we stink, we will come to court room on 28 Feb for Pak sarzameen.
Allah ke khufyaa raazon me se ek raaz…Pakistan Zindabaad.

Why did SAFMA file a case against Zaid Hamid – A detail analysis

SAFMA the Indian backed Zionist have filed a case against this Fu*keer for stealing their jew made jockey undergarments . The case has been fixed for 28 February 2012 in Sessions court Lawhore. By God, This darvesh will show this to whole world that he only wear dhaari daar kachha which we used to wear in afghan war.

Imtiaz Alam, Nusrat Javed, Khushnud Ali Khan, Hamid Mir, Najam Sethi, Hassan Nisar – we are coming after you now in the court wearing that same sacred kachha which our great grandfather steals when Mohammad bin Qasim was enjoying pleasant stay with our beloved Suckeena .

By God, we will chase you like we chase every Hindu Zionist to see either he”s circumcised or not. You are traitors to this Ummah, you have sold the honor and kachha of Pak Sarzamen and you have betrayed this Media e Sani by wearing jew made V shaped jockey underwear!

All dhaari daar kachha lovers, patriots and paid soldiers of Pakistan who stand with Pakistan against these kuffrs– be there in the court on 28th wearing same design kachha”s and also wear our symbol of chutiyapan “RED CAP” those who don”t have buy red bra and cut it from half ,share it with your friend and prove your love for Pakistan. They have started this war. We will finish it for them, InshAllah. Pakistan Zindaabaad!

Article Courtesy: Sherry Ghumman

Zaid Hamid accepts that he worked for ISI

This is the true story when Sir Zaid Hamid was serving the great agency ISI who is protecting this madina-e-sani from Jews, Christians, Hindus and every other such thing. 

Once ISI found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of  PNR 10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

Gen (retorted) Hamid Gul was the first who accepted the offer and asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of PNR 720,000.

Hafeez Saeed, the second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with PNR 960,000.

The third one was our beloved calipha Zaid Hamid, sharp with his red cap and cunning smile, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,

Alahmdullah, Yakeen Keejiye … measure us… ‘From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.’

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But Zaidu insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed Zaidu todrop his lungi, which he did.

The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the chief’s weenie and began to work back.

“Ya Allah !”, he suddenly exclaimed, ”Where are your balls?”

The lion Zaid Hamid replied, ”In Hindustan”.

(The story is actually is…Yakeen Keejiye…Sir Zaid Hamid was very excited once for the 4th Generation war and tried to enter India to unfurl the Sabj-hailali parcham on red fort in Delhi. He forgot that he is no more on Facebook but in real life. As soon as he crossed border and entered India, he met Suckeena biwi. Sir Zaid tried to lure Suckeena biwi into the Ghazwa-e-Hind but Alas! he had to loose his balls in this effort. Since then Babajani Zaid Hamid lives without balls.)

Zaid Hamid’s actual clarification about Yusuf Kazab

Zaid Hamid is cornered. He has nothing to say and nothing to clear his name with. As one of my friends put it, “there is no need to expose Zaid Hamid”. He is clearly deviated but some people still don’t get it. So, I thought I should help these people figure out what the question under discussion really is around here. It’s not about Zaid’s ideas about khilafat. It’s not about how good his speeches are. It’s not whether he works for the CIA or against it. It has nothing to do with any of it. The question that we are concerned with here is only of Yousuf Kazzab. If Zaid Hamid defends a kazzab, then:

  1. We can’t let it go. We can’t forget about it because it’s part of our Imaan to care about such things. We cannot tolerate someone who denies the finality of the prophethood of Hazrat Muhammad (Sallallah-o-alaih-e-wasallam). Period.
  2. It doesn’t matter what other things he does. It’s not relevant any more.

So, if you’re a “Zaid Hamid Fan” here’s a simple flow chart that can help you decide what your opinion is regarding Zaid Hamid. Clear your mind and come clean with what you think about him. Then decide what the real situation here is. (Click the image to see full size.)

Source: http://recluze.wordpress.com/2010/03/13/confusion-amongst-zaid-hamid-fans/

Zaid Hamid posed nude in support of ISI to protest against Veena Malik

Dear Children,

All the Islamic greetings to you.

That hindu-lover shameless Veena Malik had ashamed the whole Pudina-e-Nani .. we mean Madina-e-Sani by posing nude in an Indian fashion magazine. She could have done the same in Pakistan, in a pushto magazine or a cheap Urdu magazine like BrassTack but no..she chose Indians that too with a tattoo of ISI.

Children we have to fight the kufr. This is 4th Gen war and we have to counter the enemy in the same way. If they made Veena pose nude, we did the same, that too in an American magazine. InshaAllah, we will defeat the paleet hindu baniya Indians again. Look at us, how magnificent we look. We have the Muslim glow on our face and we have put a RAW tattoo to send a message to the world that RAW is on our ass.

Enjoy the pic and follow this fu*keer and pose your nude pics as well. Together we will unfurl the Pakistani flag on Red Fort Delhi, in nude.

Google pays tribute to Sir Zaid Hamid

Dear Children, Elders, Brothers and their Sisters,

In past few years we have cursed a lot to Hindus, Jews, Christians, Ahmedis, Buddhists and any other non-Islamic religion. It is our sacred duty to give crazy azaans. The media is awara and doesn’t let us give our azaan. But remember, this is 4th generation war and we are cyber warrior. These radio waves are our battlefields and Alahmdullah we have 40,000+ muzahidin on Facebook ready to capture Delhi via Panipat (Panipat is very important, we have to take a pani break there during the ghazwa-e-hind).

In this 4th generation war this fu*keer is using the Zionists’ resources itself. These jews have stolen the scientific discovery of Musilam Ummah. The Facebook was first created during Jahangeer’s era. The common people used to write their request on Jahangeer’s wall. Tipu had so liberal privacy policies that anybody could poke them even the paleet hindus. And now, in this 4.5 Gen war, we will use these Zioinists fitna of youtube and Facebook and spread our conspiracy theories everywhere. We will hit them where it hurts them the most i.e. on their Facebook fanpage.

In past few years, we have told you so many romantic khurafati fantasies:

Because of our contribution to entertainment industry the Zionist Google has noticed us and has decided to honored us. Mere bachho, look clearly in the pic below:

You see, Google has awarded us with the Title Chutiya Z (read as Chutiya jee, Z in American Zionist accent). The “Z” here signifies the honorable used by all the great Muslim leaders of the past. These paleet hindus copied it when we ruled them for 1000 years. We have outclassed Zardari in C (stands for chutiyaap) category.

InshaAllah, soon you will see that you don’t even need to type Z with Chutiya. With our increasing azaans, we will soon be synonymous with Chutiya. You will type Chutiya and it will throw Zaid Hamid. Great khair is coming and I am going to Washington to see the prospect of Radio Pakistan Washington.

Your Prophet,

Zaidu Challiya aka Zaiddu Chaiwallah aka Chutiya Z

Mega Launch of Zaid Hamid Certified course in Conspiracy Theory

All the Islamic greetings our children,

You remember last month we launched our much awaited sexual extravaganza in Afghanistan which we priced at 2500 Pakistan Rupee. We wanted to put the price in gold asharfies but the zioinist fitnah of paper currency forced us to accept payment by credit card.

Here is another great news for all of you in our 40,000 strong Facebook army. You always wanted to follow us and become a mard-e-momin. Here is chance for you to excel in conspiracy theory. It is our guarantee that after this course you will be able to find conspiracy theory in anything. You will be able to blame Hindus and Jews for anything from not completing your homework to getting rejected by the neighbour girl. Whateles, you can even blame Hindus and Jews for conspiring behind your birth as well.

The course is named as:

How to become a successful conspiracy theorist by watching YouTube videos in 10 days.

Yes, in 10 days you will be a fully qualified conspiracy master. All you need is a computer with internet connection. You need to watch videos and visit our websites.

Order now and you will get a free course in video editing as well.

Yes, with the course you will also get a video editing course that will help you in making conspiracy theory videos and spread the propaganda. Allahmudillah, it is 4th generation war and we will fight the 5th Gen war with the conspiracy theory.

Radio Pakistan Washington is Coming soon..

Order Now by using the ribah banking system or zioinst credit cards.

Your president of caretaker goverment,

Zaiddu Chaaliya

Exclusive: Zaid Hamid unseen without cap photo

Our children… All the Islamic greetings to you.

We are back. The awara media is not allowing us to give our azaan but we will go everywhere and give the azaan..here ..there ..everywhere…no one can stop this fu*keer.

Children, as you know that we have many fathers for eg like Tipu, Ghazni (not the Aamir Khan one), Sallauddin Ayubi, Kasim, Yakub, Zafaruddin Chaiwalla, Mangruddin dhoodhwala etc. With the blessing of them we will show you something that will inspire you. And it will be a open warning number 1234 for Indians,Americans, Israelis and anyone who wants it.

In the pic below we are standing with a lion. It may look like a cat but it is not. It is a hindu lion that has become cat beacuse it was afraid of us. You can see..iski shakal hinduon wali hai. Now we will give azaans to it on a regular basis and turn it into a nabee and a mard-e-momin.

Your new president of the care-taker government,

Zaiddu Chhaliya

The myth that Muslims in Indian subcontinent are of Arab origins

Every single Muslim in the subcontinent believes s/he is of Arab descent. If not direct Arab descent, then the illustrious ancestor had come from either Iran or Bukhara. Interestingly, the ancestor is always a great general or a saint. Never ever have we heard anyone boasting of an intellectual for a forebear. We hear of the progeny of savage robber kings, but there is no one who claims Abu Rehan Al-Beruni or Ibn Rushd as a distant sire.

Arab origin is the favourite fiction of all subcontinental Muslims. Most claim their ancestor arrived in Sindh with the army under Mohammad bin Qasim (MbQ). But, I have heard of lineages reaching back to Old Testament prophets as well. An elderly Janjua (Rajput), from the Salt Range told me of a forefather named Ar, a son of the Prophet Isaac. Ar, he said, was the ancestor of the races that spoke the Aryan tongue!

Touted as a local intellectual, this worthy was unmindful of the fact that Aryan was not a tribal name but a linguistic classification. Neither could he tell me how the name Ar, not being in the Old Testament, had reached him. He insisted this name headed his family tree and was, therefore true. The chart, written on a piece of rather newish paper had been, the Janjua insisted, copied from an old original. The original was of course destroyed after the copy was made.

The Arains flaunt Salim al Raee as their father — the clan being called after his surname. A great and valiant general in the army of MbQ, this man was from an agricultural family of Syria, so the Tarikh-e-Araian tells us. Closer to our times, the Arains are indeed acclaimed for their green thumb for which reason Shah Jehan relocated a large bunch of them to mind the newly laid out Shalimar Garden of Lahore. Today, they are a very rich clan in Baghbanpura.

The Tarikh expounds on this fictional ancestor’s noble background and courage in battle to the extent that he almost outshines MbQ. But it does not give us any source or reference for the rubbish that sullies its pages. There are two authentic histories of the Arab conquest of Sindh. Ahmad Al Biladhuri’s Futuh ul Buladan (written circa 860) and Hamid bin Ali Kufi’s Tarikh-e-Hind wa Sindh, translated first into the Persian as Fatehnama Sindh and then into Sindhi as the Chachnama (written circa 1200).

There are dozens of names sprinkled across the pages of both works, but no mention is made of a blue-blooded warrior called Salim al Raee. There are other histories besides these two works which also disregard this name for the only reason that such a man never existed.

The Awans, similarly, have a fictional ancestor called Qutb Shah from the line of the last caliph of the Rightly-Guided Caliphs. My friend Kaiser Tufail, an Arain, has had himself genetically tested from the US. He has no trace of Arab blood. His line comes from what is now Uzbekistan and has lived from early historic times in the subcontinent. The rest of us of this clan will see similar results should we go through this exercise. Kaiser had his son-in-law, an Awan, also tested. He, too, is singularly clean of Arab genes.

Most of us are the progeny of converts. In their need to escape the discrimination of the so-called higher castes, our ancestors converted to a religion that in theory claimed to profess human equality regardless of colour or caste. I use the words ‘in theory’ because even as the Arabs converted our ancestors to Islam, they discriminated against them for being “Hindis” as we learn this from Ibn Batuta’s own prejudices. And he is not alone.

Consequently, even after conversion, my ancestors, poor agriculturists, were looked down upon by the Arabs and even those who had converted earlier the same way as they were by the Brahmans when they professed their Vedic belief. Within a generation or two, those early converts began the great lie of Arab ancestry to be equal to other converts and the Arabs. This became universal with time.

The challenge then is for all those, Baloch, Pathan, Punjabi et al, who have invented illegitimate fathers for ourselves to get ourselves tested and know the bitter truth.

Originally published at: http://tribune.com.pk/story/317619/arab-origins/